Read For Fun 6

      A missionary goes to Africa to visit a community, a very old, primitive tribal community. He gives a long sermon. For half an hour he tells a long anecdote, and then the interpreter stands up. He speaks only four words and everyone laughs uproariously. The missionary is puzzled. How is it possible that a story half an hour long can be translated in four words? What kind of amazing language is this? Puzzled, he says to the interpreter, "You have done a miracle. You have spoken only four words. I don"t know what you said, but how can you translate my story, which was so long, into only four words?"

The interpreter says, "I say, "He says joke -- laugh!" "

      As a biologist, a physicist and a statistician are riding on a train through Queensland, they pass a herd of cows, one of which is completely white. 

"Look! There are white cows in Queensland," says the biologist. 

"You mean," says the physicist with an air of superiority, "there is at least one white cow in Queensland." 

"No," says the statistician, "there is at least one cow in Queensland that"s white on at least one side!"

      A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone"s attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?" he asks. "What"s he look like?" asks one shoddy-looking cowboy. 

"Well," replies the Sheriff, "he wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown paper pants and a brown paper jacket." 

"So what"s he wanted for?" asks the same cowboy. 

"Rustlin"," says the sheriff.

"One of the "best" internet errors I have seen (and it keeps be posted) is one for medications for which the subject title is "We cure any decease".  

"I did write to them and ask for details of their reincarnation medicine, but have to date have received no reply. Maybe they"re deceased themselves!"

       Expectant parents were attending a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. 

"Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, "We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family." But think about that. Ladies, what would you say if your husband came home one day and said, "Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife"?"

One of the women spoke up immediately, "I"d say, Does she cook?"

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, he burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You"re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. 

"Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They"re going to STICK!  Careful. CAREFUL!  I said, be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you"re cooking! Never! 

"Turn them! Hurry up!  Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don"t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him, "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don"t know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I"m driving."

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"

"Oh no, it"s not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."