Reading For Fun

Deep in the back woods, a hillbilly"s wife went into labour in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!"

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there", said the doctor, "don"t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there"s another one coming."

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don"t set it down ,there"s another one!" said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don"t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there"s yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.

The father-to-be scratched his head in bewilderment and said to the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that"s attractin" "em?"

@

A scientist was complaining to a fellow scientist that his colony of fruit flies, for some unknown reason, had never mated in his glass enclosure. Given that his experiment required several generations to complete, this was causing quite a problem. The visiting scientist told him that he had experienced a similar problem at his lab and it resulted from the slick glass walls of the enclosure. Apparently the flies mate while crawling along the glass walls of the enclosure. 

"Your glass is too slick," he told him, "but I have just the remedy". 

The second scientist asked for a bottle of table salt and some flour and water. He mixed the concoction and brushed it on the glass walls. The flies began crawling along the surface and mated immediately.

"My problem is solved," exclaimed the first scientist, "If only I had known that flies need monosodium glue to mate!"

@

One night, after closing time, a barman was sitting at his bar minding his own business, when a spectral hound floated in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of man, said, "Yeah, what do you want?"

The phantom hound explained, in a haunting voice, "I"ve lost my tail and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back on."

At this request the barman stood back astonished and said to the phantom dog, "Sorry, but we don"t re-tail spirits at this time of night."