READ FOR FUN ( 5 )

An auto mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clunking noise when going around corners.

He took the car out for a test drive and made two right turns, each time hearing a loud clunk.

Back at the shop, he returned the car to the service manager with this note: "Removed bowling ball from trunk."

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I"m not supposed to let you play since you failed maths, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a maths question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"

"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

The engineer of a train passing through Poland could see no lights because the power had been knocked out by a severe ice storm. 

"We"re running out of coal," he said to his trainman, "but I think we"re coming to Gdansk or Danzig, or whatever they call it now. Let"s stop and send the porter out to buy some more fuel."

The train stops and the trainman gets out to investigate.

"Can you see a sign on the depot that says Gdansk in this dim light?" calls the engineer.

The trainman replied, "It appears to be Danzig in the dark." 

And the engineer shouted, "Buy coal, Porter!"

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. 

"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. 

"I"ve always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I"ll play him." 

"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. 

"Mozart"s the one for me!" said Sly. 

"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

"I"ll be Bach," said Arnie.

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."

The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."

While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?"

To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."