READ FOR FUN

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "I"d like some perfume," he said to the cosmetics clerk. 

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That"s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That"s still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I"d like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

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A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" 

The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" 

"$7.98," said the butcher.

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.

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Spanish singer, Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word "manyana". Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means, "Maybe the job will be done to-morrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?" 

The host turned to Irishman, Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish. 

"No. In Ireland we don"t have a word to describe that degree of urgency," replied Brennan.

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A scientist was complaining to a fellow scientist that his colony of fruit flies, for some unknown reason, had never mated in his glass enclosure. Given that his experiment required several generations to complete, this was causing quite a problem. The visiting scientist told him that he had experienced a similar problem at his lab and it resulted from the slick glass walls of the enclosure. Apparently the flies mate while crawling along the glass walls of the enclosure. 

"Your glass is too slick," he told him, "but I have just the remedy". 

The second scientist asked for a bottle of table salt and some flour and water. He mixed the concoction and brushed it on the glass walls. The flies began crawling along the surface and mated immediately.

"My problem is solved," exclaimed the first scientist, "If only I had known that flies need monosodium glue to mate!"